Philosophical Reviews: Nuns And Soldiers By Iris Murdoch

"We live in other people's thoughts, in their plans, in their dreams. There is as if there were God, we have infinite responsibility."

This is absolutely true, if there isn't God, we must care for others. The problem is that, with limited knowledge of others, we are completely incapable of understanding what is best for them. Our advice, such as how to deal with a problem, is purely personal; our help is most likely completely useless.

What we can do is get to know our friends deeply, which is very difficult.

"Loving people is a serious matter but falling in love is just a temporary form of madness."

What does it mean to love someone? There's certainly a very strong connection to our emotional state, namely, a lack of happiness, so we seek someone who can fill it.

In this case, it's clear we're in love with ourselves and not with each other, which means saying we love someone else is crazy.

"People in stress situations get sick, they get a bit crazy, they could imagine that  they fall in love. They have huge emotional illusions and make huge emotional mistakes."

This is what happened to Gertrude.

After losing her husband, she fell in love with Tim. She believed in love, but was disappointed.

Fate changes when Tim, in an attempt to meet his beloved (for pleasure), risks drowning in a canal. This implies a new baptism, from which Tim will forever love Gertrude.

The central point is emotion: are we able to manage it over time? Will it be the same in ten years?

Loving someone is almost a utopia, since we don't know ourselves or the other person.

So thinking that love comes after falling in love is pure madness

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